As we all know that when something goes wrong,people need to point a finger on someone to make it better.Okay if we were to play the blaming game,this was gone be like......
We blame our GP for not reffering us to the gynae the minute he saw that baby could be in danger.(Okay since it eases does it bring Tshami back,my answer is NO so in a matter of fact the GP had nothing to do with this as he had successfully cared for more pregnant women and it happened that 1% in 99% ended up fatally).
Mommy can say I told you not to visit the GP and if only you had listened nothing like this could have happened.Young people do not listen to older people(Okay same answer as to the dr)
Husby,baby I told you to take an early maternity leave.(Okay since I was 31 weeks and not yet 36 weeks if I take the leave what will I sit and do at home and besides I do office work with less harm to me nor the baby)
Chat forums and FB,you hardly know who you chat with and in most cases satanists enjoy this chats and knows all your plans and aim to destroy.(Only God can protect us cause nowadays we are leaving in a world full of haters and satanists who just want to break the children of God.Those who know me knows that I speak freely of my religion,I am a born again Christian and my Jesus was crucified with no sin,He suffered and the suffering did not end cause if you follow Jesus you will be crucified,if you do not know where you are with the Lord,satan does not care about you but when you accept Jesus and follow Him he(satan) will attack in different directions.It is to test your faith,don't get confused God doesn't test or tempt us NEVER always remember that the fire is not meant to burn you but to keep you in God.I disconnected my FB account cause spiritually I felt the need to do so.
Kuli(me) ,If I had started with the gynae,things like this could have been prevented,if I had prayed more God could have saved her,if husby will do all the cleaning and the cooking in the house I could have relaxed even more and if I had used the heart monitor I could have detected this(Answer:same as the drs,when we pray we say let thy will be done so His protection was indeed upon me cause it could have been worse,how many women die with their babies but He gave me a chance to have other children,really now husby did all he can possibly do to support me but since I am more of DIY I would shift things around and not even bother asking him,I will ask him only if it suited me so why blame him,what could the heart monitor possibly have done cause I was only going to pick up that the heart has stopped and what then?)I have realised that some women drink and smoke yet their pregnancies are successful and some can say it is not fair but I say "if you do not want it to happen to you,why do you want it to happen to someone else"Spiritually speaking,if it happens to an unbeliever do you possibly think she will draw closer or apart from God?Think about it
Witchcraft,this is one of african's favourite,it is alive and we experience it everyday so basically this is satan.Okay what I have learned in the book of Job is when satan asked God if he(satan)can test Job's faithfulness God said okay you can but on Job do not touch a soul.This statement takes me to His will was done so basically is this; each and every person has their own destiny and that was Tshami's and the Lord is good and His faithfulness endures forever.Satan took all that belonged to Job and his children included and we see that God restores everything back.Truly speaking this has brought me even closer to God,He is my refuge and strong tower.Wa ndzi hlulela(He conquers for me).In my darkest hour,He is my light.
Conclusion so the blaming game doesn't work,what works is prayer that may the God of peace grants us peace and strength to carry on cause He who has begun a good work in us will carry it to completion till the day of Christ.So instead of being bitter and wanting answers the best way is to pray back and not payback.The battle is not ours but of the Lord so I have decided to leave all at the His feet(throne of mercy and grace).
I love you Tshami my angel and your death had drawn me even closer to my Father.I know you are happy at your new home.Your sister and I were sending you our love last night,I hope you had us and saw you giving you a kiss.Your sister always talks about you and takes out a plate(winnie the pooh) for you when I dish up for her,she misses you so much the little sister that she had but never really got to know nor play with but her love for you will always be in her heart.We love you
Hello once again.
ReplyDeleteJust came to check on you.
I have this picture of all our loved ones who have passed on, all sitting in heaven smiling down on us, because for them, as much as we are hurting, as much as they don't want to see us cry, because they are with God, they now have a better understanding of why things happen.
All i know is as much as you are in pain. As much as sometimes you may want to scream and yell at how unfair it all is. Still, it doesn't take away the fact that for those 8 months, you experienced love so deep for the life God allowed you to carry, even if it was for a little while. The joy that came from that will forver be yours. I remember the first time i felt my baby move and i went on to FB and the best way i could think to describe it was, "the angels are singing for me".
I have my gynae's appt tomorrow & i've been complaining that i'm not keen on these 2 weekly appts, i was actually thinking about cancelling, but after reading this, i know for sure that i'm gonna go. You see in a way, your post maybe saving me from going through what you are going through. Cause i had thought that as long as i feel movements that means the baby is well.
So thank you for that.
U hlayiseka, siku rin'wana, moya wena wu ta kuma kurhula. Hi rin'wana ra masiku, hi ta amukela, hi kota naku khensa.
I'll be back soon to check how you are.
To have you following this blog is an honour and I am glad that it helps you as well.Each and every situation,a person has a lesson to learn I have learned alot with my daughter's death and also matured me in a way.I totally agree with you and with each and every tear they send their love and hugs.It is an amazing feeling to hear those kicks and just rubs on them like you are cheering and they just kick more.God is amazing and the work of His hands is amazing.
ReplyDeleteGo and see that sweet little one,kicking and I know you will come back even more excited cause the sound of that heart beat is music to the mother's ears.Enjoy and embrace your pregnancy,God chose you out of all women to nurture His child,the experience is overwhelming believe me you even if it's your 4th child it's just natural.
You know there were times I would skip drinking vitamin tablets and now I look back and say I was not really appreciating,my baby was healthy and strong,thank God that was not the cause of her death
Indeed the blaming game won't bring Tshami back and as much as I can't imagine what you are feeling beacuse I have not experienced the feeling of a life growing inside of me yet. I can relate to loosing someone that I looked up to,someone I wanted to make proud of me(my natural Father),who has passed away. I have found the greatest Father I could ever have in Jehovah,God almighty.
ReplyDeleteYou are right the best way to truly heal is to draw close to God as he will draw close to you!
I pray that with every word you write on this blog, each scar that was left by this loss will be covered by Jesus Loves.
Lovies!!!
Hi Pone;
ReplyDeleteThank you for the words of encouragement,His blood that was shared with heal my wounds and He will also remove the scar.
Love you more.