Are there any support groups specially for grieving mothers affected by stillbirth or miscarriages or death of a child here in SA?If anyone has an answer please let me know.Are the organisation dedicated to research on the cause of stillbirth and come up with preventative measures?Hmmm I haven't come across any,so please if someone knows of it please to let me know.I am even wondering if there are companies doing gifts for grieving parents like pendants etc...I spent the whole day googling and all I could find is overseas shops.
I know that the number of stillborns here in South Africa have increased but what is our doctors doing about it.I remember in the hospital I was,they gave me a private room for delivering but after they took me to an empty room just next door the nursery and all I can hear the whole night is crying babies,how insensitive that is.When the shifts changed,the night nurses did not inform the day nurses that in that room there is a mother who just lost her child and all I heard all morning was "where is your baby?" Do you want me to bring her for feeds."I just laid there in tears and with a shaking voice said "my baby died."In my heart I just couldn't wait for my husband to come and answer these questions for me and he eventually came at 6:30 and rescued me and we had to wait there and be tortured till the gynae arrived to discharge me.
Do not get me wrong,I did not want preferential treatment but some sort of sensitivity.So yaah when my psychologist advised me to start a blog,even though I was hesitant at first but I thought about it thoroughly and asked myself what will people think etc...but I said to hell cause most women here in South Africa go through stillbirth almost everyday and some more than once and keep it to themselves.I will write a blog and even though it is personal maybe it might help someone some day.
It is not wrong to grieve for your child that was bornsleeping,we go into depression because we do not talk,since we are not allowed to.Some they did not get to give their children decent burials and will never eract a tombstone cause culture says stillborns should be buried at the back of the family home.But I would like to say,that should not permit you to think of your child or do something to honour their memory.I remember I was so pissed that in her death certificate they only wrote "baby Kulani."whilst we had names for her,to me that is just so inconsiderate and unfair to the parents.But I have decided that I won't let a death certificate deprive me of honouring my daughter.When you talk to people about your late child,they look at you like you are mad or obsessed.It doesn't not mean that if my baby died,she was not my child.She came out the same way other living children come out the only difference is she came out sleeping with no heartbeat.
I urge everyone to respect angel moms and allow them to talk freely about their children and birthing experience if they want.All kids are special to their parents and every parent is proud of their children.So don't look at me like I am crazy when I talk about my girls,yes you heard me rights "girls",I am a proud mother of two beautiful girls,one here on heart filling my heart with joy and one in heaven filling my heart with strength and hope.
To be honest if I had a gift of crafting I would open a shop that only sell keepsakes and jewelry for the stillborns,so unfortunately.I want to paste reference of what other countries are doing in support of stillbirths,it is not taboo to talk about this,it might help someone some day and wouldn't you be happy that you did something to help prevent another mother from experiencing such a painful thing.
Anyone who like to share their story with the world in this blog you can,let's raise awareness.drop at kulimas@webmail.co.za and I will post it for you.
www.uk-sands.org
www.MyForeverChild.com
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