Honouring my husband

This post is dedicated to my husband,father of my two girls.When I think of him this expression comes to mind "every man can be a daddy but it takes a real man to be father."I am proud to say I have found a father for my kids,he shares the journey from pregnancy throughout.A man who loves bottle feeding,rocking to changing diapers,I am talking about a hands-on-father.With us africans we tend to think that a man is bewitched when he is hands-on their children and wonder why children bond so much with their mothers.My daughter is so fond of her father because of the amount of love he has and shows her.

My darling husband,thank you for your loving-kindness,for the support you give me and for being a good father that you are.I dedicate this video,created by Courtney especially for you.
http://animoto.com/play/N9fSuxTLASmdKGEFQWsVqw

A poem written by an angel father(Reference from footprints newsletter)

They ask "How's your wife?"
But they don't understand.
He also affected my life.

I picture him on a football team.
Who knows,maybe number 13
But now it's all just a dream.

I'm not supposed to show any
emotions or cry
I'm supposed to take it like a man
But sometimes I wish I could die.

I'll never know the bruised knee
His first kiss or broken heart
Not ever "Dad,can I have the car key?"

I'm expected to keep all of this
bottle up inside.
That wasn't just fetal tissue or a
nonviable pregnancy.
He was my only son that died.

But life continues,although I am
sad.
You'll never understand my pain
or tear in my eyes
Because to you

I'm just the Dad.

By Dennis VanDerWoude

Father's point of view

A friend sent me a poem written by a father who lost a child and it came to my heart that I must write concerning this issue.Society has made us believe that men do not cry but does that mean that they are not grieving the loss of their expectant kids?In my own observations I think they should be taken care of just like mothers.I am saying this because I often hear a lot of people asking me "How am I doing or how am I coping?" and my husband is not asked that.He also lost a child,he also lost the dreams that he had for his daughter.

I remember when I went for therapy,I wanted to go with my husband and I was told that it is not necessary cause he did not carry that child and I am more traumatise cause I had to birth a sleeping child.In a matter of fact I know that the whole thing had been hard and traumatizing for my husband cause he was in the delivering room,holding his dear wife and helping through the labour process knowing at the back of his head that it's not like 3 years back when we were birthing our first child cause our second we both knew that the minute she arrives she won't give us a cry.

Angel dads should also recieve the support that angel moms do,because of neglect they end up miserable and relationships are destroyed.Yes the man ego says do not cry but it doesn't say people shouldn't offer their support.Angel dads needs us.....

I remember how my husband shared the arrival of our daughter 3 years ago with all his family and friends and how even today he is a hands on daddy and my love I love you so much for being the best father ever.I know he also wanted to share with the whole world that he is a daddy once more cause I remember how he will brag to everyone about the pregnancy.

At first I did not understand why he had to be so strong and now I know why and even in that we have gone through this whole ordeal together and came out as victors and our love strengthened.