You are still God,You are not a man who can lie nor change your mind.Lord as heavy as this is for me,I fix my eyes unto You.You are not called Jehovha Rapha for nothing but because You are the greatest healer.I believe in my heart that the good work that you have begun in our lives O' Lord you will carry it through to completion till the day of Christ.Guide my thoughts O' dear God,my daughter still needs me.When the devil attacks me with lots of confusion,I pray may you help me brush them off.Nkazi if you can hear me,know that mommy is so empty without you.

At times when I think it gets better it just gets worse.Sometimes the doctor's voice just plays in my head,"there is no heartbeat,the heartbeat that I am picking up is yours."My feelings just died and in disbelief I though it was just a bad joke,a mistake either way he is just a GP maybe when I get to PLK my gynae will tell me otherwise.On the way I was praying for a miracle but Nkazi it was true you were gone.You did not even give me a warning nor a goodbye,you just left just like that.I wanted you so badly,I didn't care of the critics,I knew I was gonna give you the best life,love you unconditionally.You were a perfect gift Nkazimulo.You lived a very short life my baby,very short.Everyday I wonder how you would have turned out to be.I have turned into a laughing stock my baby,first it was daddy losing his job atleast a good thing came YOU and they continued to laugh but I kept strong in prayer and knew that I would be able to support you and now you are gone and my turmoil never stops.Some are asking where is her God now.It looks like all the bad things are coming my way,my life is full of bitterness and sorrow sometimes I become selfish and ask why am I still alive if I know no joy and peace.