Reality check,Nkazi you are truly gone,it was not a dream it was real.You left me broken,you left me shattered,you left me sorrowful.You were suppose to have come to be a blessing unto our family,to share love and laughter instead we are mourning,we are grieving.Lord help me,only You can help me,only you can heal this wound,nothing seem to be healing me.Sometimes the road is narrow,sometimes the load is very heavy on my shoulders but in thee O' Lord I put my trust.I am missing you more everyday my sleeping beauty,I am missing you like crazy.I know if it was possible,I would have taken your place so that you can live the life that was robbed of you.I don't believe you were created to be covered with soil,my life will never be the same cause you died with my heart.It is aching and how can I know joy when you are not here with me.

People are going on with their lives and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that but as your mother my world has collapsed,it has closed in on me.I laugh when I am around people but I feel guilty doing that cause there is this deep hole that no one could ever close up.Every step I take,every move I make,every single day,every time I breathe I will be missing you.Thinking of that day when you went away Nkazi,it was and is still the hardest day for me.Don't you wish to come down angel and kiss mommy and tell her it's gonna be okay?Cause I wish you could just do that so that I know you are at peace.I am surrending this pain unto you O' Lord,heal me before it consumes me.Your death certificate came as "Baby Kulani"like you never had a name.I will always cherish you in my heart and I will hold you so dearly and you'll feel my warmth in paradise.One day I'll come and join you and I will have the opportunity to tell you how much I love you and missed you.Sleep Nkazimulo Mathibela