A poem for a grieving mother

Today I should be watching over you, but instead you are flying above, watching over me. I should be seeing you smile while you look up at me, Instead I look up to the sky and smile knowing you are at peace. I should be rocking you to sleep in my arms every night, Instead I’m sitting here rocking myself back and forth with my arms crossed. I should be comforting you and wiping away your tears as you cry, Instead I’m wiping away the river of tears that I cry, with nothing to comfort me. I should be exhausted from getting up with you every couple of hours. Instead I’m exhausted from sleepless nights because all I dream of is you. I should be fixing you bottles and feeding you baby foods, Instead I’m trying to find a reason for myself to eat and drink. I should be watching you learn to crawl across the floor. Instead I’m the one on my hands and knees begging to have you back I should be watching you grow, Instead I’m watching myself learn to let go. I should be buying you clothes and toys, Instead I buy flowers to place on your tombstone. I should be celebrating you achieving your milestones. Instead I count the months that pass since you passed. I should be listening to the sound of you breathing while you lay asleep on my chest, Instead my chest aches and it hurts to even breathe. I should be showing your pictures to all my friends and family, Instead only a select view have gotten to see you. I should be carrying you with me, everywhere I go ….. Well this is one thing that I do, for you are always in my heart.